


A Burns Wedding

by Quiet_Shadow



Category: Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Humor, Post-Canon, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 17:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15999818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quiet_Shadow/pseuds/Quiet_Shadow
Summary: Kade is getting married, Dani still can't believe it's happening and is preparing for a disaster (Uncle Woodrow was kind enough to share tales) and Graham thinks a robot wearing a dress is one of the weirdest things he has ever seen, and he lives on Griffin Rock.Also, where did Chase get those over-sized bowties?





	A Burns Wedding

“I can’t believe Kade is getting married.”

“I can’t believe Hayley actually went and said ‘yes’.”

Graham paused mid-step and looked at Dani. The two of them had opted out of the casern for the time being, enjoying some fresh air while the other finished preparing themselves. They were still within calling reach of the rest of the family and the Bots but far enough they could have a private chat.

“Well, I guess that given how many times they almost broke off, it came as a bit of a surprise. But you know Hayley…”

“Oh yes,” Dani nodded. “She holds far more patience for Kade than I have, that’s for certain. It’s still weird to think that in a couple of hours only, she’s officially going to be our sister-in-law.”

“There are weirder things in the universe. Like a robot going around wearing a dress.” Graham’s eyes were once again sliding back to Blades, who was chatting excitedly with a couple of Hayley’s friends who had showed up for a last rehearsal of… well, Graham wasn’t certain what the group was planning, perhaps a singing number for the party. What was certain was that all of them were clad in matching dark green strapless dresses.

All of them. Including Blades himself.

Now that threw Graham out of a loop and that was despite growing up in Griffin Rock and being regularly confronted to things that made absolutely no sense whatsoever and sounded to come straight out of a cartoon show but kept happening on the island anyway.

“Honestly, don’t you find it weird how happy Blades seems to be about wearing that dress?”

Dani gave her brother a look. “Graham, Blades spent half the day he was in my body trying out everything he could find in my wardrobe and drawers when he wasn’t too busy emptying the fridge, and that included all of my dresses. Must I add he then went twirling in front of the mirror so he could see how the skirt flew around him?”

Graham blinked. “Oh,” he said after a moment of silence as he remembered the whole ‘switcheroo’ incident. That had been a weird day for sure – and how glad he had been to have sat this one out. To this day, the dentist still hadn’t forbidden ‘Kade’ – well, Heatwave -- for having bitten him. “He, uh, really does like dresses I guess?”

Dani shrugged helplessly. “Perhaps. I suspect ulterior motives as well. The dress,” she added for Graham’s benefit when her brother raised an eyebrow at her. “You can’t exactly transform and fly with it on, can you? That’s awfully convenient for Blades, isn’t it?”

“Oh, come one, you don’t think…”

“I think absolutely nothing,” Dani insisted. “I’m not even accusing him! I’m just saying, that’s all. You’ll see that if we have an emergency…”

She was brutally cut off by Graham who placed a hand over her mouth with large, panicked eyes as he looked right and left.

“Shhhh!” Graham hissed, “You’ll jinx it, Dani!”

His sister glared and pulled the hand down. “Geeze, Graham, light up! I won’t ‘jinx’ us, as you put it. I’m just thinking logically; there always is a problem to fix in Griffin Rock! Why wouldn’t there be one on Kade’s wedding day? You remember the tale about Dad’s wedding, right? Or the one about Great Aunt Beatrice’s wedding reception? Or, oh, I don’t know, all the wedding stories Uncle Woodrow told us about?”

“Dad said he was exaggerating and that there really wasn’t a fire, just a very stubborn candle. And I’m pretty sure we won’t see an animal stampede, the Mayor Luskey Agricultural Salon isn’t supposed to take place before next month,” Graham mumbled. He gave his sister an once-over. “Is that hypothetical call is the reason why you’re wearing your flight suit under your dress? Aren’t you too hot? It’s not really form-fitting, just so you know. And the boots don’t go with the dress at all.”

Dani blushed a bit; as much as she wished to, she couldn’t say Graham was wrong about the fitting. For the rest, though… “I’m not that hot; it’s a new heat-regulating textile material I’m testing for Doc Greene and so far, so good. Plus, if anything happens and I need to run, I’m not doing any running in high heels,” she said flatly. “I don’t care how many women do it on television, I’m not risking twisting my ankle and spending weeks on leave because of heels.”

Graham wanted to argue, he really wanted to, but… Well, it was a Burns wedding, he reminded himself, and it was Griffin Rock. “Fair point,” he conceded. “Though I don’t think you should worry that much. Dad and Chase and Heatwave made a checklist and everything is secured.”

Dani gave him a look that clearly conveyed ‘Oh, Really?’ and Graham tried not to fidget. “Invading flobsters?” she asked.

“No lobster on the menu,” Graham replied.

“Sinking ferry?”

“Captain Shaw closed the service down for the day – he’s coming to the ceremony, remember?”

“Cat stuck in a tree?”

“Mrs Neederlander and Mister Pettypaws are already here and sitting in plain view. Servo is also keeping a close, uh, eye on the cat.”

“Out of control heli-pack?”

“Mr Harrison had to bring it to Doc Greene for reparation – and the spare too, so no flying for him,” he added quickly.

“Kaiju attack?”

“No holographic projector allowed, not even to show some old embarrassing pictures of Kade at the reception.”

“Magic meat that changes you into a monster?”

“Mayor Luskey was forbidden to have anything to do with the catering and we made sure his wife enforced it,” Graham replied, massaging his temples. “Dani, will you quit it? I told you, Dad and the team envisaged all potential problems.”

Dani just hummed noncommittally, remaining obviously unconvinced. Not that Graham could fully blame her; life in Griffin Rock was certainly never dull.

But he still maintained that Blades in a dress was the weirdest thing he had ever seen.

“I still find it weird,” he complained. Because robot, dress? It just didn’t compute. Perhaps Dani had an easier time with it because she used to put her dolls’ clothes on her brothers’ toy cars when they were kids…?

“Just be glad Hayley and Kade were able to persuade him that he was a bit too old to hold the role of flower girl,” Dani said dryly, looking perfectly at ease with the idea. “Cleaning up sunflower petals wouldn’t have been fun.”

“Why sun…? Oh, right,” Graham realized with a wince. There really weren’t that many tall flowers that could fit in a Cybertronian’s hand, were there?”

Dani wasn’t quite finished. “It also gave the Griffin Rock Seamstresses Association quite the challenge to do. I don’t think I had ever seen them so focused and showing so much determination before, not even when they tried to have the Mayor Luskey Fashion Challenge taken down and cancelled once for all.”

“Uh. You got to admit that those out of control automatic sewing machines had put a damper on the event,” Graham pointed out, remembering the (in)famous contest. “Not to mention the other incidents. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of Mrs Neederlander dueling a scissors-armed drone with a pair of knitting needles.” Nor the way she has actually won and stabbed the aforementioned drone. That had been vicious. Then again, the drone had stood between her and Mr Pettypaws, tied up and trapped into a massive yarn ball. Old Mrs Neederlander didn’t allow anyone or anything to harm her cat.

“If you ever do, I’m sure someone has pictures somewhere; Prescott’s cameras keep getting everywhere,” Dani replied, amused. She was almost certain Mrs Neederlander had asked and gotten a framed copy for herself. “But back to your earlier question: no, seeing Blades in a dress doesn’t make me bat an eyelash. I even find it strangely cute.”

Which, okay, Graham could concede. There was something charming about Blades holding a big flowers bouquet (actually a whole potted bush full of flowers, because what else could he use? And Boulder had insisted they’d keep it afterward so Leafy had a friend to ‘talk’ with, so there was a spot ready for it at the Bots’ base), gushing and twirling around as he spoke in hushed whispers with Hayley’s other bridesmaids.

He pushed his glasses back. Uh. Charming, and still as weird as ever. Thankfully Blades was the only ones having insisted on the dress. The others…

“Personally, I’m more concerned with where in Heaven Chase found those bowties,” Dani confessed as she followed Graham’s gaze, eyes lingering on the large black item tied up under Chase, Heatwave and Boulder’s chins. Apparently, they were in a heated discussion with Blurr to just stop being silly and put one on, now while Salvage was fighting (and losing) to try and tie his own by himself. It was going to require an intervention under short notice, the sole Burns daughter thought with a wince. It had taken long training hours under the supervision of their Dad for Chase to learn how to properly tie the bow before he passed down the knowledge to the others and it looked like they were due for another row – unless Heatwave finally snapped and decided to tie it up himself and to hell with Salvage’s own (pathetic) attempts.

Graham chuckled a little besides her. “Well, from what I have gathered, the same place on Internet he had found that hat when he went on binge-watching noir movies.”

“One size really fit it all, eh?” Dani commented after a few seconds of silence, debating about face palming for having missed the obvious. “Eh, is it me or did he buy more than there are Rescue Bots?”

Graham shrugged. “Well, High Tide has a standing invitation but didn’t confirm if he’s coming or not. Same with Bumblebee, they weren’t able to get a straight answer. But I know Optimus Prime is definitely coming,” he added with a grin. “Apparently, he’s going to give a speech and a blessing.”

Dani blinked. “Wow, really? Married by an alien; now that’s something you don’t see every day!” She paused, tilting her head and humming. “Uh, I’m not sure I can picture Optimus Prime wearing a bowtie. A chaplain’s scarf, perhaps…”

“I’m not sure it’d fit either,” Graham mumbled. The role of Prime had apparently some religious connotations but Optimus reminded him more of a bodybuilder than a priest. Suddenly, he looked wary and defeated. “Besides, it’s not like he can really marry Kade and Hayley – that’s Mayor Luskey’s role. Aliens war/religious leaders can’t officially celebrate an union between two humans, even if they want to. Just like an alien robot can’t be the official witness and best man at a wedding.”  
Uh oh. Dani knew that voice, knew that look and knew exactly what had her brother suddenly brooding.

It was hard to forget Kade barging inside the station and yelling happily that he was fiancé, Hayley had said yes, he was getting married and Heatwave, would you like to be the best man, everything said very fast while Kade literally bounced around the room under the bemused gaze of his family, friends and partner, who could only ask ‘what’s a best man?’.

Which… had opened a big can of worms as the whole Burns family tried to explain how a wedding worked to increasingly happy and cheerful Rescue Bots (and no, Blades, don’t believe everything you see on TV, that’s not how most weddings go, there isn’t usually that much drama involved) – and then came the realization that Heatwave couldn’t exactly be an official witness, could he?

In Dani’s opinion, though, it was quite telling that as soon as Kade had realized the problem and said ‘well, I still want you to be a witness!’, he had immediately turned toward Graham. “So, bro, how about you be my Best Man?”

Of course Graham had accepted. But apparently, not being the first choice had hit him a little harder than the rest of his siblings had thought.

“Graham, if Kade choose you to be his best man, it’s because he loves you – even if he can be a jerk with a very awkward and sometimes stupid way to show how much he cares,” Dani said softly, hands on Graham’s shoulders and squeezing them. “Just remind yourself he choose you. He could ask Cody or any of his friends from high school he’s still in contact with. He could have asked Uncle Woodrow or any of our cousins. But it’s you he picked out immediately – and Heatwave doesn’t count, Kade already knew he couldn’t be the Best Man, he had just forgotten it. Anyway,” she added, “my point is, Kade trusts you and you’re going to show him how much he was right to. You’re going to do great, Graham, don’t you dare believe it otherwise!”

Graham managed a weak smile. “If you say so, Dani. If you say so. It’s just…” he trailed off, shrugging. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy – he was, he truly was, and he knew Kade wouldn’t have chosen him if he hadn’t trusted him. He didn’t need Dani to know it (or their father, or Cody, or Uncle Woodrow; honestly every single member of the family aware of the Rescue Bots’ secret had given him a pep talk. Was Graham really looking so dejected?). But at the same time, he couldn’t help but think that I was a mistake, that Heatwave really should have been the Best Man. He was Kade’s partner and that… that counted for a lot, didn’t it? The Rescue Bots were part of their family, they should have gotten a bigger part to play in their first human wedding and screw the law!

Well, no, Graham mentally amended. The Burns respected the law. But that seemed so unfair that Heatwave couldn’t be Best Man for Kade (or that Boulder wouldn’t be able to be Graham and Amy’s should they also tie the knot, unless Earth law got amended somehow).

So he was happy… but he couldn’t help the bitterness either.

Still, it was a big day for the whole family. He ought to smile more – and to give Kade a good pat on the shoulder while he was at it.

“Graham! Dani! We’re ready to go!” Cody’s voice called them over. Apparently, the issue with Salvage and Blurr’s bow ties had been resolved.

“Well, time to face the music,” Dani smiled as she let go of Graham’s shoulders. “Got the rings?”

“Yes, right here in my pock…et?” Graham said, patting his right pocket only to still utterly. It fell far too flat under his fingers. Slowly, he lowered his gaze even as he slide a hand into the aforementioned pocket, searching around for the familiar, cool contact of the two rings he had put in earlier in the morning and _which should have been there_!

With infinite care, he pulled his hand out and forced himself to look up and straight at Dani. His sister stared, jaw hanging open.

“Graham… you didn’t? Please, tell me you didn’t…?”

Graham winced. “Uh. I… may have?”

Dani closed her eyes and slowly counted to ten. She had the sneaky feeling that ‘losing the rings just before the ceremony’ hadn’t made it to Chief Burns and the Rescue Bots’ checklist. “Well, so much for not dealing with an emergency today.”

**End**


End file.
